I won’t lie, I’ve sat here just like this more times than I can count. I’ve sat here with my laptop in hand, starting at a blank screen just hoping for the right words to spill out. I’ve wrote a handful of unfinished posts and keep a running list of ideas, nothing feeling right. For months I’ve contemplated what I’m supposed to be doing with this space.
I feel like I have to be honest with you guys so here goes.
When I created this blog back in December of 2018, I devoted many hours just simply learning the ropes. In all honesty I was not prepared for the amount of time, effort and money that comes along with the blogging world. I just knew that I loved writing, and it seemed like such a wonderful, creative outlet for a stay-at-home mom like myself.
Now don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t afraid of putting in the time. When it comes to my passions, I tend to give it my all. Of course, this isn’t all bad. It’s wonderful to have a good work ethic and even better if this is a hobby or career that you are passionate about.
And blogging was, for me!
However, like anything there is a time and a place for it. What started out as a “creative outlet” ultimately lead to a full-time job. I started out working on the blog while the kids were asleep but before long this wasn’t enough. Many hours were spent throughout the day at the kitchen table, couch, computer desk, and on the go with my phone. You name it and I’ve been there working on something blog related.
After a few months of this new lifestyle, I found myself branching out from my typical passions. Suddenly, I was spending more hours watching other bloggers than working on my own. I was constantly on the search for new ideas and losing bits and pieces of my identity in the process. The things I once enjoyed were now replaced by anything and everything that could make a good blog post.
And y’all, this just breaks my heart because all of those hours I spent typing away at the computer screen my kids were begging for attention. My part time job was suffering. My marriage was crumbling, and my prayer life was nearly nonexistent. What started out as a “creative outlet” quickly consumed me. All of me.
What I thought was God’s plan for my life ended up being all wrong. This was MY plan, not HIS. It was never God’s intention for me to put my creative outlet before everything else. It was not in His plan to make my family life suffer just so I could “make something of myself.” This was certainly not His plan to transform the Brittany that He created into somebody totally different. And now, I cannot get those years back. What’s done is done.
You know what I can do though? I can step forward and learn from this entire experience. Slowly but surely, I’m finding myself again and I’m placing my own identity back in Christ. I’m still working on priorities each and every day, but I hope to never let my family suffer again at the hands of myself.
So what does this mean for Not Your Average Fox?
I’ve prayed for several months now on what God wants me to do from here on out. After careful consideration I believe that God is not done with this blog just yet. I believe that he will work all things together for good with those who love him, those who he has called according to his purpose. If the Lord gives me the words to say I’ll absolutely share them one way or another 🙂
A wise sweet friend of mine once said “God will bless your messes too” and I believe it. He says that he will work ALL things together. Not just the good and perfect plans but all of them.
And personally, I cannot wait to see what he has in store!
For those that are willing I ask that you keep me in prayer. Pray specifically that the holy spirit will move in me to write for the Lord and not of me.