Having a baby is such a beautiful, wonderful, and cherished time. Ask anyone who has delivered a baby and I am sure they can verify that it is a magical moment when you see your baby for the first time. The feeling is almost unreal and suddenly you are there holding a tiny baby and wondering how that even happened.You may be thinking, “well, why don’t you want visitors? If birth is so wonderful then why don’t you want to share that with others?” As breathtaking and precious as it seems labor and delivery is not all rainbows and butterflies. It comes with struggles, moments of exhaustion and pain. Your emotions will spin quicker than you thought possible. You will be laying there one minute oo’ing and ahh’ing over your precious newborn and the next minute worrying that something is wrong.
“Am I holding him okay?”
“Why isn’t he latching?”
I remember being so stressed out trying to get Wyatt to breastfeed. He was having trouble and would not stop crying. All I wanted was for someone to remove the highly uncomfortable blood pressure cuff so I could properly hold my newborn. I had no such luck though which made me more upset. Throughout the next couple of days I stayed paranoid that visitors would walk in on me topless and struggling to breastfeed. If they did notify me before coming, I felt rushed when they were standing outside the door waiting on me.
As much as I loved my epidural at the time, it also became another nuisance. Most epidurals begin to wear off at least a little bit after the delivery process. However, even the next morning I was still numb and required two nurses to help me walk to the bathroom. This brings me to the next unpleasant topic…hosptial gowns and mesh underwear. The gowns do NOT fit well and each time you get up to walk be prepared to show off your entire backside to everyone in the room. At one point after I had Wyatt there was a room full of people. I was trying to be nice and polite but I could feel myself getting heated. I had to pee and was horribly hot. I just wanted relief but did not want anyone to see me indecent. I was a bit grouchy and wanted everyone to leave but was far too nice. Instead I sat there for over an hour and waited…
I know that everyone who came to visit meant well and was so excited to welcome in the new baby. It hurt a lot of people’s feelings when I decided on no visitors for the second baby. It especially caused hurt for close family members and that was so not my intention. Despite the judgement and broken hearts I would do it all over again if I decide to have a 3rd baby. There was just something beautiful and calm about the privacy during such an intimate time in our lives. Everything about my second birth was different from the first. I did not have to worry about anyone seeing me half naked and I was able to breastfeed without offending anyone. (not that I would care anymore if I did). There was very little concern over if “so and so” had washed their hands or if another person had been sick. Most importantly though, I was able to recover from birth and truly enjoy the first few days of my daughter’s life.
Of course there is plenty of time to share that new baby love once everything is settled at home! I do realize that this “no visitor policy” is not everyone’s cup of tea. I have no shame in admitting though that I personally need time away from visitors after having a baby. Some may call it selfish but I call it taking care of myself and you know, there’s not THING wrong with that.